Red Satin Ribbons
by: Heather Cook
rated: NC-17

COMMENTS:  Well, ladies and gents, this started out as a PWP that was 
inspired by "Touch", a lovely full length drawing of the boys in an intimate 
moment...but it turned into...something more.  Exactly what I'm not sure, but I 
hope that it's something that you'll like...


This one is for Isabel Tan, who's lovely vision of Bashir set my mouth to 
watering, and for Mark, EggBlue, and Carillion, who were teased unmercifully 
one night in chat so that I could work out Bashir's motivation...

DISCLAIMER: I acknowledge that Garak and Bashir and all of the other toys 
that go with DS9 are owned by Paramount and Viacom...too bad, cause they 
don't seem to know how to play with them...  I promise to wash the boys before I 
return them, okay?

The first poem is a sonnet by Shakespeare - I can't remember the number, but 
does it really matter?  The second poem is called "My Life is a Bowl" by May 
Riley Smith.  Both authors are deceased, and were born too early to benefit from 
copyright law anyway...


..ooOoo..

It was lying across the console in his shop.  A small tube of paper, with a length 
of red satin ribbon tied around it.  When he untied the bow, and read the note 
that was written across the thick creamy sheet in bold strokes, Garak smiled.

	Some glory in their birth, some in their skill,
	Some glory in their wealth, some in their body's force;
	Some in their garments, though new-fangled ill;
 	Some in their hawks and hounds, some in their horse:
	And every humour hath his adjunct pleasure,
	Wherein it finds a joy above the rest;
	But these particulars are not my measure,
	All these I better in one general best.
	Thy love is better than high birth to me,
	Richer than wealth, prouder than garments' cost
	Of more delight than hawks and horses be;
	And having thee, of all men's pride I boast
	  Wretched in this alone, that thou mayst take
	  All this away, and me most wretched make.

	I'll be waiting for you at home...please don't be late!

					~ J

How like Julian to leave a love note in plain sight, but not say that he loved 
him...it was one of the many things that still surprised him about the younger 
man.  He was a passionate lover, an intelligent conversationalist, and a caring 
person, but Garak had discovered that Julian was either unwilling or unable to 
express his love verbally.  Instead, he left Garak notes, and sent him messages, 
that said in a thousand different ways, "I love you" yet never used the actual 
words.

The doctor's favorite mode of expression was Shakespearean sonnets.  When he 
and Julian had begun their friendship, Garak had read Shakespeare in it's many 
forms, and found it to be mildly entertaining, but predictable.  Before he and 
Julian had become lovers, had he been asked his opinion of any one of the plays 
or sonnets, Garak would have professed a lack of interest.  Now that 
Shakespeare's sonnets were the only outward indication that he was loved by the 
doctor, he counted them among his favorite works. 

Re-reading the sonnet to himself, Garak wondered why Julian had such a hard 
time saying the words...Guls knew the man didn't have any problems with any 
other words, in bed or out of it.  An echo of the younger man's lusty shouts was 
accompanied with by a mental image of Julian, head thrown back in abandon, as 
he was held standing against the Cardassian's length.  Garak could still feel the 
silky texture of the hot skin beneath his hands -- hands that were stroking the 
lightly muscled chest and the straining cock of his young lover.  He could still 
hear the pleasure ringing in the younger man's voice as he urged "faster" and 
"more"...

Hearing the door to his shop open, Garak looked up from his reverie, and was 
relieved that the bulky console was between himself and his customer.  
Offending customers was bad for business, and in his current state of arousal, he 
would most definitely offend.  Turning his mind to business, the Cardassian 
pushed his lusty thoughts away, and tucking the note and the scrap of ribbon 
into his pocket, he greeted the young Bajoran woman who had entered the shop.  

..ooOoo..

Had anyone been listening, the only sounds that could be heard from the 
darkened room were the soft moans and sighs of lovemaking, the quiet rustle of 
fabric, and the underlying rumble of the station's systems.   In the darkness, 
Garak's voice sounded unnaturally loud as he said, "Julian..." A note of 
desperation had crept into his voice.  For the last hour, the younger man had 
been teasing him mercilessly, first massaging his upper body with long slow 
strokes of his fingers, then following with his lips, and finally his tongue.  At 
this point the older man's skin was a mass of raw nerve endings, and he felt that 
he would go insane if he didn't get some release.

Still pressed against the triangular shaped patch of scales at the Cardassian's 
waist, Julian murmured, "Yes, Garak?"

The hot breath and full lips moving against his stomach caused Garak to arch his 
back, groaning, "Julian, please..."

"Yes?"

This time Garak could feel the smile that played about the doctor's lips, and he 
growled, "I need you.  Now."

Chuckling, Julian said, "Garak...aren't you the one that's always telling me to 
savor the moment?  Whatever happened to that famous Cardassian patience of 
yours?  I would have thought that our bout during lunch would have satisfied 
even you..."

"Me?   I'm not the one that started this...I recall that you were the -- ahhh!"  The 
Cardassian broke off as he felt Julian's strong fingers close around his still 
clothed erection.

Still amused, the younger man lifted his head only long enough to pull the pants 
from his lover's frame.  Julian threw them over his shoulder to join the tunic and 
shirt already on the floor, and then he continued to kiss and lick his way over the 
scales to Garak's erection.  Taking it into his hand, Julian slowly lowered his 
mouth over it, grazing it gently with his teeth before returning to the tip, where 
he ran his tongue along the soft underside.  

Garak moaned, and threaded his hands into Julian's hair.  Julian pulled back to 
look at his face.  Seeing his eyes closed, Julian again lowered himself, 
swallowing against his gag-reflex to pull Garak deep into his mouth.  As he fell 
into a steady rhythm, Garak groaned and began to none too gently thrust his 
hips, helping to set the pace.  Julian's wrapped his arms around the tops of 
Garak's thighs, and pulled him closer -- close enough that Garak felt heated 
breaths passing over the scaled skin of his groin.  Garak opened his eyes, and 
looked down at Julian.  The sight of Julian's mouth on him was enough to bring 
him to completion.  His hands tightened in Julian's hair, and he cried out as he 
came in Julian's mouth.  Julian continued sucking and swallowing until Garak 
subsided, then sat back and smiled up at him.

Panting, Garak managed, "That... was...incredible."

Julian slid up Garak's body to his face, and planted a kiss onto his mouth.  "The 
pleasure was all mine, I assure you."

Feeling Julian's erection pressing into his hip, Garak, still trying to catch his 
breath, countered, "All yours?  Oh no, my dear Julian, it would appear that your 
pleasure is yet to come." 

Pushing Julian onto his back, Garak pulled at the drawstring that held the 
human's pants up.  With infinite patience, Garak teased the fabric down Julian's 
legs, taking his briefs as he went.  When he reached the floor, Garak hands 
reversed directions, sliding along Julian's legs, the soft skin feeling even softer 
beneath the leathery skin of his palms.  Inching slowly upwards, and ever closer 
to Julian's center, Garak explored the curves and angles of the younger man's 
lightly muscled legs.  

When Garak's cool hands made contact with the heated skin of his groin, Julian 
gasped, "Elim..."

The cool hand pulled away as its owner asked, "Oh, it's Elim now is it?"

"Eli-  Garak ..."  Julian pressed his hips upward in an attempt to renew contact 
with the older man.

Pressing Julian's hips into the bed, Garak said, "Say it again.  I want to hear you 
say my name.  Say it, and I'll continue."

"Elim, please!"

Upon hearing his name, Garak relaxed his grip, and crawled to the head of the 
bed to kiss Julian.  "I love the sound of my name as it comes from your lips...say 
it again?"

Julian breathed, "Elim..."

"Mmmm..."  A smile. "Again."

"Elim...stop teasing me...please."

Garak's eyes twinkled with mischief as he said, "Well, I suppose that I can be 
kinder than you were to me just now." 

Kissing the smooth expanse of the younger man's chest, Garak slid down the 
bed, bringing his mouth to rest in the slight hollow below Julian's navel.  With 
gentle fingers he reached to encircle the hard shaft, using his thumb to smooth 
the glistening drop from the tip.  With his other hand, he gripped the sharp hip, 
using it to hold Julian in place.  Lowering his head, Garak flicked his tongue 
over the head of Julian's penis, before he drew it into his mouth and began to 
suck, slowly moving from base to tip.  As he increased his pace, Garak reached 
back to work a finger into Julian's tight opening.  When the younger man arched 
his back and tried to thrust upwards, Garak smiled and worked in a second 
finger, gently stretching Julian as he brushed a fingertip over his prostate.  
Within a matter of seconds, Julian bucked his hips, nearly shouting, "I can't - 
Elim..."  As Julian began to peak, Garak pulled away, and used his hand to 
finish the task that his mouth had started.   

Before Julian had time to relax, Garak smeared the human's essence onto his 
penis, which was again hard, and turned Julian so that he was on hands and 
knees.  Pushing himself into Julian, Garak leaned forward, kissing the golden 
skin of Julian's back, biting and nipping along the spine.  As he came to rest 
inside the heat of his lover, Garak sighed and reached around the slight ribcage 
to press a splayed hand against Julian's heaving chest.  He could feel the wild 
fluttering of Julian's heart beneath his hand, and delighted in the knowledge that 
*he* had caused its irregular rhythm.

When Garak showed no signs of moving, Julian turned his head so that he could 
see the older man, and caressed the ridge that ran along Garak's side to his hip.   
With a growl, Garak arched upright, taking the doctor with him.  As gravity 
pulled at Julian, Garak was pushed even further into him.  Julian leaned back, 
pressing his head into the older man's shoulder, gasping as he was impaled on 
the hard length.  By arching his neck, Julian was able to cover Garak's mouth 
with his own and for many long minutes they kissed, tongues entwining and 
mimicking the designs that their hands traced on heated skin.  

When Julian began to rock his hips, Garak grasped his waist, and settled him 
firmly into his lap before beginning to thrust.  Moving slowly at first, Garak 
gradually built a steady rhythm that pushed him to the edge of pleasure.   
Reaching around to take Julian's erection into his hand, he began to stroke it in 
time with his thrusts.  When Julian came, the sharp spasms of his orgasm pulled 
Garak to his peak, and his shouts nearly drowned out Garak's own.  Spent, they 
collapsed onto the bed, Garak still inside his lover.   As he became aware of the 
shallow breathing below him, Garak reluctantly left the warmth of Julian's body, 
and rolled to the side, arms still locked around the younger man.  

Pressing his lips to the juncture of Julian's neck and shoulder, Garak murmured, 
"I love you..."

Turning in Garak's arms, Julian tucked his head below the older man's chin, and 
kissed the scales that adorned the skin there. "Hmmm...that was wonderful."

"Yes, Julian...it was."

Stroking the sylph-like form that cuddled against him, Garak again wondered at 
Julian's reticence.  It was obvious that he was pleasing Julian sexually -- since 
they had become lovers, the sex had been incredible, and the only nights that 
they spent apart were the ones that he and Julian spent on the Defiant, on patrol.  
Even then, if they were both assigned to the ship at the same time, they engaged 
in what Julian called 'quickies' -- definitely not the all night sessions that they 
were used to, but satisfying nonetheless.  Garak had to assume that Julian would 
tell him if he was unhappy, so obviously it wasn't the sex.

Maybe there was some other reason that Julian hadn't expressed his feelings...  

His train of thought was interrupted by Julian's tentative, "Garak?"

"Hmmm?"

"Is something bothering you?"

"No...nothing is wrong."  Stopping to press a kiss against the sweaty mop of 
hair, he continued, "Why do you ask that?"

"You're a million miles away...  It's not like you to be so...introspective."

"I'm just thinking of you...and how much I love you."

The only response that Garak received was the feel of the heat of Julian's blush 
as it flowed over the skin that was pressed to his shoulder.  With a sigh, he 
briefly tightened his arms Julian and then disentangled himself, and went to 
retrieve a wet cloth.  Returning to the bed, he used it first to clean Julian, then 
himself, and then he and Julian both crawled beneath the heavy blankets.  

As sleep crept up on him, Garak continued to mull over the puzzle that Julian's 
silence presented.  After many frustrating minutes, he decided that he would 
never figure it out.  Noticing that Julian's breathing bore no signs of sleep, he 
asked, "Julian?"

A sleepy voice answered, "Yes, Garak?"

"Do you...love me?"

Frowning, Julian said, "Of course I do.  What kind of a question is that?"  When 
Garak didn't answer, Julian lifted his head from the older man's shoulder, and 
repeated, "What kind of question is that?  Don't you know how much I care for 
you?  Isn't it obvious?"

Swallowing hard, Garak looked away from the deep brown eyes that stared into 
his, and he struggled to curb the impulse to tell Julian how much he needed to 
hear the words.  After a few moments, he looked back at Julian and said, "Of 
course it is.  I just...never mind, Julian, I'm just being silly."  Taking the lightly 
stubbled cheeks between his hands, he drew the younger man up for a long kiss.  
When they parted, Garak gently pushed Julian's head to the middle of his chest.  

Not giving in as easily as Garak would have liked, Julian again raised his head 
and looked up at the Cardassian.  What he saw there didn't reassure him.  The 
older man looked as if he wished he were anywhere else but in bed with Julian, 
and he refused to meet the younger man's eyes.  

"Garak?  Do you doubt my feelings for you?"

Sighing, Garak answered, "No, my dear, but...it would be nice if..."  Trailing off 
Garak tried to think of how to express himself without offending his young 
lover.  Seeing no easy way to say it, he just continued with, "Well, you've never 
actually told me that you love me."  There, let Julian deal with it.

Julian was speechless.  He was sure that he *had* said it, but then again he had 
never known Garak to lie when it came to their relationship.  Thinking back, he 
couldn't clearly remember an instance where he had said it.  Scrambling off the 
bed, he began to pace.  

"Gods, Garak, why didn't you say something before?"  The confusion was 
evident in the younger man's voice.

"I feel that I shouldn't have to ask you to affirm your feelings."  Garak could 
hear his tone, and he was ashamed to be showing this weakness, but he was 
unable to control the hurt that had crept into his words.  "If you care for me, it 
should be something that you do on your own, naturally, without me prompting 
you to it."

Now Julian's voice was defensive. "I must have said it at one time or another.  
As a matter of fact, I'm sure that I have."

"Name one instance."

Julian was silent for many long minutes before he answered, "I can't." Falling 
back into the offensive, he asked, "Can you tell me of an instance when you've 
said it?"

Incredulous, Garak rose from the bed, taking a pillow and a blanket with him.  
When he reached the doorway, he turned, and said, very softly, "Yes.  And it 
pains me that you don't remember, since I said it not more than a quarter of an 
hour ago.  Goodnight, Julian."  

Julian watched with an open mouth as Garak left the room, and crossed to sit on 
the sofa.  The second the question had come from his lips, he had known that it 
was the wrong thing to say, especially since he knew very well that Garak had 
expressed his love mere minutes before.  Damn! Why did he always have to be 
so defensive when it came to matters of the heart?  He knew that the station's 
rumor mill worked overtime whenever he and his latest fling parted ways -- the 
most common assumption was that he wore them out.  The real reason was as 
far from that as DS9 was from the Earth.  Leeta had laid it out pretty clearly, as 
had just about every other lover that he had ever had: he rarely expressed his 
feelings, and that made most people think that he just didn't care, when in 
reality, he did, very deeply.  He just seemed to have trouble saying it out loud, 
and *that* was why he'd never had relationship that lasted longer than a few 
months.

When Garak had asked him to dinner that first time, Julian had gotten the 
distinct impression that it wasn't a dinner between friends, and he'd been pleased 
that Garak had taken the first step.  For a long time, he'd had a feeling that Garak 
was interested in him, but only as a casual thing.   Casual wasn't what Julian 
wanted, but it seemed to be the only way that he'd get into the Cardassian's bed.
When Garak agreed to Julian's request to be 'picked up' at his quarters, Julian 
began to think that maybe, just maybe, the tailor was interested in more than a 
fling...  So he dressed carefully, and waited nervously for Garak to arrive.  The 
look on Garak's face when the door opened was proof enough for Julian that his 
feeling about Garak's intentions was right, and Julian was pleased that he had 
made the extra effort.

Thinking back to the end of their first date, Julian remembered the surge of lust 
that he had felt when Garak had pressed a chaste kiss to his mouth.  They had 
been standing outside his quarters, and Julian was leaning against the doorframe.  
When Garak pulled away, and tried to step back, Julian reached to encircle the 
broad form with his long arms, and pulled Garak closer.  Settling the older man 
against his body, Julian had thoroughly kissed the Cardassian, brushing his 
tongue across the cool grey lips, and pressing it forward to explore the inside of 
the kanaar flavored mouth.  When they had broken apart, Julian asked Garak if 
he would like to come in, and Garak had replied that he didn't think that either 
one of them were ready for what would happen if he did go in.  With a final kiss, 
Garak had turned and retreated to his own quarters.  Right then and there, Julian 
knew, without a doubt, that he loved Garak more than he had ever loved anyone 
in his life.  And that scared the hell out of him. 

That was the problem.  He was so scared that Garak would leave him, or die, or 
lose interest that he preferred to not admit his feelings, either to himself, or to 
Garak -- because he knew that if he lost Garak, he would lose everything.  And 
right now, that was more than he wanted to risk.

Stopping in the doorway, he looked out into the living area, and saw that Garak 
was hunched in on himself, sitting on the sofa, wrapped in the blanket and 
clutching the pillow to his chest.  The sight weakened his fear -- how could he 
doubt that Garak loved him?  How could he ask Garak to give more than he 
himself was willing to give?  Seeing him like that, in obvious distress, Julian 
realized that he wanted to go to the older man, to tell him that he did love him, 
using the words that Garak so obviously wanted to hear, but he knew that any 
declaration would fall on deaf ears.  In any case, saying the words now, so soon 
after Garak had pointed out their omission, would cheapen them and Julian 
didn't want to do that.  Crawling back into the now empty and cold bed, Julian 
sighed, and resigned himself to a sleepless night.

..ooOoo..

For his part, Garak was angry -- angry at himself for being so needy that he had 
to hear Julian say the words, and angry at Julian for not knowing that he needed 
the reassurance.  He knew that Julian's question had been a way to shift the 
focus from his own actions, but it had still stung.  Garak wondered when he had 
gotten so soft.  It used to be that nothing and no one could affect him this way; 
as someone who couldn't afford the emotional liabilities that a family or a lover 
could become, Garak had always kept his affairs casual, and his circle of 
acquaintances was just that -- acquaintances.  Somehow, somewhere along the 
way, he had let down his guard, and Julian had wormed his way in...

Not that having Julian in his life was a bad thing.  He had wanted the young man 
as his lover for so long, but he hadn't thought beyond the physical aspect of a 
relationship.  Before he and Julian had become intimate, he had invited the 
doctor to lunch often, so that he would have the opportunity to look into his 
eyes, and hear his voice, and see the delightful flush that crept over the human's 
face when he was engaged in passionate debate.  At the time, he figured that his 
reaction to Julian was simple lust, and that if he gave it some time, it would run 
its course.  Then he would stop looking forward to their lunches with such 
fervor.  When their lunch dates dwindled from once a week to never, and his lust 
for the doctor had not abated, Garak knew that he had to do *something*.  He 
figured that Julian was losing interest in his friendship, and that he needed to 
recapture that interest, even if it meant exposing his true feelings to the human.

So, he had done the only thing that he could think of -- he asked Julian to have 
dinner with him.  When Garak asked, Julian had looked at him oddly, especially 
when the tailor requested that he wear civilian clothing.  Pretending to think for 
a few moments, Julian had looked up through his eyelashes coyly, and asked 
what time he should expect to be picked up.  Garak had laughed, and told Julian 
that they should just meet at the restaurant, but Julian insisted that Garak come 
by his quarters to pick him up.

When Garak arrived at Julian's quarters, he was nervous, unsure of what kind of 
game the doctor was playing.  He was moderately sure that Julian didn't share 
his feelings, that the human only saw him as an interesting friend, so he didn't 
know why Julian was treating this particular meal as a date.  Pressing the keypad 
to signal his presence, Garak glanced to the left, where he saw Kira leaving her 
quarters.  She gave him an odd look as she began to walk in his direction, and at 
that moment, the door to Julian's quarters slid open.

There was no mistaking Julian's interpretation of their dinner.  He was dressed in 
the tightest, most form fitting pair of black pants that Garak had ever seen and a 
white shirt of the sheerest silk.  His hair was still wet from his shower, and it 
curled around his face, untamed by whatever styling product he usually used to 
keep in place.  Hearing Kira's appreciative whistle, Julian blushed, and looked at 
the floor.  Clearing his throat, he asked Garak if he'd like to come in.  Barely 
capable of nodding his head yes, Garak advanced on Julian, who backed into his 
quarters far enough that the door closed behind the Cardassian.  The last either 
of them heard from Kira was, "Lucky Cardie bastard."

Thinking back to their 'date', Garak had to smile.  He's never been so nervous in 
his whole life, and he knew that Julian could sense it.  Instead of fueling that 
nervousness, Julian had worked hard to put him at ease, letting Garak know that 
he was just as interested in pursuing a relationship as the Cardassian was.  As he 
remembered the fluttery feeling in his stomach when he had kissed Julian 
goodnight, Garak recognized that he was no longer angry, with Julian or 
himself.  He would just have to live with the fact that he needed something that 
Julian couldn't give him.  He's done that before; six long years of lunches and 
games in the holosuite had shown him that he could live with wanting.  Perhaps 
in this, too, Julian would surprise him, and he would hear the words before six 
more years had passed.

With a smile, Garak rose from the sofa, and went in to sleep with Julian.  
Curling against the warm form of his lover, Garak was surprised to hear Julian 
say, "Garak, I'm sorry.  I - I didn't realize how much I was hurting you."

Garak's only reply was to wrap himself around the younger man, entwining his 
legs with Julian's, pulling him closer.  Using his fingers to smooth Julian's 
unruly hair away from his forehead, Garak kissed away the frown that his lips 
found there.  In the silence that followed, both men drifted off to sleep.

..ooOoo..

Over the next few days, their disagreement was forgotten in the day to day 
events of the war; Julian was busy, treating his everyday patients plus the 
overflow from Starfleet field hospitals, and Garak was decoding a series of 
intercepted messages.  The latest offensive against the Dominion was increasing 
everyone's workload, and the work showed no signs of stopping, or even 
slowing down anytime in the near future.  The two men spent long hours apart, 
only seeing each other for a few brief minutes before falling into exhausted 
slumber, and in the morning when they shared breakfast before going their 
separate ways.  

In between working on patients, and helping Ezri with the increased counseling 
load that the influx of patients brought with it, Julian tried to think of a way that 
he could tell Garak that he loved him, without making the older man feel as 
though he was being patronized.  Everything that he thought of seemed 
contrived, and would only worsen the situation.  He decided that for the time 
being he would continue to leave Garak notes, and hoped that he would either 
think of a way to tell him, or that it would just slip out naturally.


..ooOoo..

When he awoke, Garak sensed that Julian had already left the bed, so he threw 
back the covers and reached for his robe.  As his hand closed on the now 
familiar tube of paper, he smiled.  Despite their disagreement the previous week, 
each day Julian had faithfully left a note, written on the same heavy paper, and 
tied with the same red ribbon, where Garak would find it.  This one was another 
poem, one that he didn't recognize.

	My life is a bowl which is mine to brim
	  With loveliness old and new.
	So I fill its clay from stem to rim
	  With you, dear heart, with you.

	My life is a pool which can only hold
	  One star and a glimpse of blue
	But the blue and the little lamp of gold
	  Are you, dear heart, are you.

	My life is a homing bird that flies
	  Through the starry dusk and dew
	Home to the heaven of your true eyes
	  Home, dear heart, to you.

	I'll be home before you know it...
	                 ~J

Hearing the shower still running, Garak realized that Julian hadn't expected that 
he would awaken this early.  Deciding to join his young lover in the steamy 
cubicle, Garak rose and crossed to the closet where he moved around several 
objects before taking down a large chest. Raising the lid, he deposited the note 
into the receptacle, and then replaced the chest inside the closet.  Turning, he 
was startled to see Julian standing in the doorway.

"Julian!  I didn't even hear you turn off the water... Are you going to be able to 
have breakfast with me?" Crossing to the younger man, Garak placed a kiss 
against the damp curls at his temple.

With a glance at the closet, Julian replied, "Yes, Garak.  Why don't you shower, 
and I'll fix it for us?"

When he heard the water come on in the shower, Julian crossed to the closet and 
removed the container that he had seen Garak placing inside.  The box itself was 
beautiful, made of a fragrant wood that had been polished to a soft shine, and the 
top was adorned with an inlaid mosaic design made of pale blue and grey stones.  
Feeling only the slightest twinge of conscience at invading Garak's privacy, 
Julian opened the top of the chest, and looked inside.  What he found was 
surprising -- roll upon roll of cream colored paper, all tied with red ribbons.  His 
notes?  Garak had been keeping his notes?   Looking at the accumulation of 
paper, Julian could tell that this comprised the sum of his notes, poems and 
ramblings to Garak.  As he stared at the stash, he was suddenly struck with an 
idea -- he had just figured out how to tell Garak that he loved him... As he heard 
the water trickle to a stop in the shower, Julian hurried to replace the box where 
he had found it, and went to dress and make breakfast, smiling a tiny little smile.

..ooOoo..

Why he had ever decided to help the Federation was beyond reason...Garak was 
tired of the endless reports, the red tape and bureaucracy, and  the almost daily 
briefings.  Today had been especially tiring -- he had been forced to repeat 
himself over and over again, telling each successive officer the same thing, and 
answering the same questions each time.  He felt as though today had been 
planned as a test of his loyalty; after all, how many times could the same 
question be asked?  Finally, after the tenth person asked him the same set of 
questions, and received the same set of answers, he was free to go.  The trek to 
his quarters took longer than usual, and he wondered distractedly if Julian would 
be there, or if he would still be at the infirmary.  Upon reaching his destination, 
Garak entered the access code, and walked through the door and into his 
quarters.  Preoccupied with thoughts of killing the next Starfleet admiral that he 
saw, he failed to notice the very naked human doctor leaning against the 
viewport.  

"Garak?"

Looking up, the Cardassian's eyes widened as he took in the sight of his young 
lover, wearing only a length of red satin, tied into a bow, around his semi-erect 
penis.  As if he regularly found humans in various states of undress in his 
quarters, Garak said, "Ahh, my dear Julian, you look lovely.  Tell me, is this 
another one of your odd human customs?  Or is it just a quirk of humans named 
Julian Bashir?" As he spoke, Garak advanced on Julian's position. 

"Well, it's a bit of both, actually.  I mean...well, it's human custom to give gifts 
on special occasions."

A puzzled frown crossed the Cardassian's face, and he wondered if he had 
forgotten something important, like an anniversary or birthday.  Sure that he 
hadn't, Garak decided that it must be yet another of the seemingly endless 
holidays humans celebrated.  Curious in spite of himself, Garak asked, "Oh?  
And what is the special occasion to which you refer?"  Reaching down to untie 
the bow, Garak murmured, "And what about this?  Do all humans give such 
delightful gifts?"  

With a seductive smile, Julian replied, "I realized today how much I love you, 
and I wanted to tell you." 

"What!?"  The statement had been made so casually, it was a moment before 
Garak realized what Julian had actually said.

Smiling at the look of utter happiness on Garak's face, Julian simply reached up 
to unfasten the heavy clasp that held together Garak's tunic and pressed his lips 
to the skin that was bared when he pulled the shirt open.

All thought of communication left the Cardassian's mind as he felt the moist 
press of human lips against the scales of his chest.  Nimble fingers divested 
Garak of his tunic, and moved to the waistband of his trousers, where they undid 
the button and slid the zipper open.   Pushing the trousers and the briefs beneath 
them down over Garak's hips, Julian dropped to his knees, and removed Garak's 
boots, then his pants.  

Looking up at his lover, Julian saw that he was totally relaxed, leaning back 
against the edge of the viewport, and looking down at him with the same happy 
expression as before.  Trailing a hand along the ridge that ran up the outside of 
the Cardassian's leg, Julian stood, and pulled Garak into a deep kiss.  

As Julian leaned into him, Garak could feel the irregular beat of the human 
heart, and the slight unevenness of his own breathing.  Reaching between their 
bodies, he brushed the back of his hand over Julian's groin.  The resultant twitch 
and hissing intake of breath were all the encouragement that Garak needed to 
grasp Julian's hardening penis.  With gentle fingers he stroked it from base to 
tip, stopping to smooth the drop of moisture that had escaped across the head, 
returning again to the base to start the process over again.

Julian pushed his hips into Garak's, trapping his hand between them as he trailed 
kisses from the ridge along Garak's jaw to his ear.  After dipping the tip of his 
tongue into the delicately shaped ear, Julian continued his kisses down the row 
of scales that covered the oh-so-erogenous zone between Garak's neck and 
shoulder.  When Garak tipped his head to the side, Julian bit into the sensitive 
flesh that was offered.  

Before he knew what had happened, Julian was on his back on the floor, with 
Garak leaning over him on all fours.  A low growl escaped from the Cardassian's 
throat as he lowered his head and captured a brown nipple between his teeth.  
Teasing it first with his tongue, he pulled away and blew a cool breath across the 
slightly muscled chest.  Julian arched upwards as his nipple contracted into a 
hard peak, and Garak leaned to repeat the process on the other side.  As he 
writhed under his lover's attentions, Julian stroked and kneaded the ridges on 
Garak's neck, brushing his fingertips over the soft patch of scales that covered 
the area at the top of the older man's spine.  As his fingers brushed a particularly 
sensitive spot, Garak arched his neck upwards.

Lowering himself to lie atop Julian, Garak murmured, "You are so beautiful...do 
you know what you do to me?"  Grinding his hips into Julian's, he continued, 
"Do you realize how much I want you right now?"

Clutching at Garak's hips and pulling them against his own, Julian gasped out 
"yes" as he began to rub his erection against the scaled groin.  Feeling the hard 
shaft of Garak's penis bumping against his own, Julian increased his efforts, and 
was rewarded when he felt Garak begin to rub against him, timing his thrusts so 
that their pelvises came together and retreated at the same time.  

As the friction built, Garak lowered his mouth to capture Julian's.  Locked in a 
searing kiss, the lovers pushed each other to the edge of pleasure; pulling away 
to look at Garak, Julian murmured, "I love you... "

With an inarticulate cry, Garak buried his head in Julian's shoulder as he 
shuddered into his climax.  Hearing and feeling Garak's pleasure was enough to 
bring Julian to completion; gripping the solid form above him, Julian felt the 
tremors subside from both their bodies, as the waves of pleasure slowly washed 
over him.

Propping himself up on one elbow, Garak looked down at Julian, and smiled.  
"Thank you."

"For what?  In case you didn't notice, I enjoyed that too."

"No, I mean thank you for telling me.  It was important to me, and you chose a 
lovely way to say it."

Sighing, Julian said, "I know -- I also know that I should have said it a long time 
ago.  I'm sorry."

"Don't be...what's important is what is happening now, not what has already 
passed."  Garak leaned to kiss Julian; a long searching kiss, much like the kiss 
that Julian had given to him on a night not so long ago...

When he broke away and raised his head, Garak said, "As much as I love you, 
my dear, I cannot remain on the floor for much longer.  Would you care to 
accompany me to the bedroom?" As he spoke, Julian could feel the stirring at 
the Cardassian's groin, and he nodded.

Helping Julian to stand, Garak led the way through their quarters to the 
bedroom.  As they entered the room, Julian was groaning about rug burns; 
Garak only chuckled and kissed the reddened spots along the younger man's 
back.   After a few moments, he re-entered the front room, and crossed to the 
viewport. Garak smiled and bent to pick something from the floor.  Turning to 
retrace his steps into the other room, he wrapped the satiny length of red ribbon 
around his fingers.  

~end~